?JACQ's

? Friday, February 26, 2010

My Life?

Dedicated to you,

I never know that to you, i was a liar. You never choose to believe me when i am feeling sick, you never believe me from the start.
I hate to be accuse, esp YOU! But you choose to accuse me first rather than finding out the truth, what is this?
This is your so called love to me? Great! I hate that, i choose to forgive you and give you another chance to let you come back.
But, this proven that, i am wrong. So fucking damn wrong. You never know how much it hurt when i hear you pick up the phone and act like nothing is wrong!
&& yes. I am a great liar! Does this statisfy you? Fucktard! I hate to believe you! Really!

? JACQ Was Here

8:18 PM

? Thursday, February 25, 2010

My Life?

Today was a very dont know what to say day for me, woke up at 11 plus going 12 by darling. To pei her sms. =)
Then message half way, receive a call from brother. So quickly bath and get prepared, rush down to simei ite. Something happen, but dont wish to rant it here.
Then all the way at simei ite until 3+ ? Then walk from simei ite to hospital to take bus home.
Very very very hot day! Cannot stand the hotnessxzxz.
Sis and bird went over to my house as sis want to bath, i also want to bath, very hot man!
Then maomao came too, then around 5+? walk from my house to inter. Damn hot! BTH, then went over to t1 walk walk.
Not long cousin came, after that.. went to see the watch that i've been eyeing for. xD
$129, anyone want to buy for me? I will love die the person! hahaha!
Then slacked outside cs awhile, cause sis making a call.
then everyone went home, so i went home too.
So tired, so hot, so happy, so sad, a very emotional day for me.
Now the fever is coming back, and the bed is telling me come and rest.
But.. nvm. dont want to get emotional.

Perhaps, you are not strong minded like i think you are. I thought.. nvm.
You takecare.

? JACQ Was Here

10:10 PM

?

My Life?

I was wondering why sis said through out all this year i never change.
I was wondering, why people say i am getting tougher and tougher more and more difficult to understand?
I finally struggled thru the darkest life once, now twice. I have to go thru even more severe pain than what i been thru last time.
I have to learn who to trust, and who not to trust, what to trust and not what to trust. I feel that i have grown really tougher!
But, one thing i can never understand is.. Why will some couple get sick of seeing each other when time gets long?
Why will some couple quarrel everyday when time gets long? Is it because 1 party don't love each other anymore?
Or is it because 1 don't feel secure anymore? Why will 1 start to feel scared or rather afraid when his/her other half start to change?
Is there a remedy for it? What if both still truly love each other? But, its destiny and friendship that breaks them up?
Is there still a place to salvage it? Or must 1 give up and choose? Or it's time to give up?
I am tired of being me, i am tired of being JacQ. I am tired of being tough, i am tired of every single thing. I am tired, really tired.
I dont want to commit in relationship anymore, i never know that, its so so so tiring. =(
I am tired of everything that has happen, but i am really bless to have my brothers and sisters by side. =) Love you brothers&sisters.

? JACQ Was Here

1:13 AM

? Wednesday, February 24, 2010

My Life?

Have to do a real quick post, before mummy or daddy is back.
The blog owner of this blog, JacQ is sick. Super uber sick, Fever,Flu,Backpain,Gastric. It's hurting me so much, D=
Cant believe that i slept for more than 18 hours, and i am still feeling tired.
Worst of all is, i cant even get up of the bed.. Cause mummy dont let me to use my computer and everything. I have to rest at my bed all day long. D=
Anyone know what does SugarBaby means? Dictionary don't have the meaning of this.
Oh, MOE send me a letter, dont know what is for. =/
Alright, off to bath and smoke. Before they come back spot check me. =(
Ciaos~

Edited.
IDK why, i feel so irritated now~
Perhaps, i saw something i should not see.. Shall talk to brother for advices now!
Ciaos~

? JACQ Was Here

4:16 PM

? Monday, February 22, 2010

My Life?

It beats me off just like that, just like a gust of wind that push me down on the floor and i cant get up. =(
Finally i decided to let him go, no matter what. It's time to be truth to myself and him. We don't love each other anymore.
2 years going 10 months, this is how its suppose to end. I still do miss our past, i still do miss the guy that really used to love me, be with me everyday after work.
But, it's all in a past already, no point saying so much. It won't come back, even if it were to come back. Nothing will change, right? =)
So, no more BABYBOY after this post. There only be JACQ, JACQ and still JACQ.
Okay, since this is the last post about BABYBOY.
Then let me say this story for 1 last time. =)

So it was like on this particular normal day, i just ended my school when over to this blk and slack, then saw this few malay girls younger than me by 1 year.
Keep staring at me. so yeah i was young at that time, so like to make trouble, so ask them up to fight.
LOL, then the girl didnt hit back, so i keep beat her. After that, i dont know what happen, my brother said they called people down for backing. =/
So, my brother ask me to lend him phone to call people, he called this BABYBOY of mine. =)
End up problem solved. Brother called him back, say no need come le.
Then he like, i prepare ok le leh. blah blah~
Then the next day i skipped school, stayed at home. & that is the day he miss call me, stupid him, play miss call to save hp bill!
So i called back, he ask if i am derrick, i said no lah, derrick not here lah, jacq here lah!
then he said, oh okay bye. Then i hanged up.After a few mins, he messaged me.. Since you derrick friend, then we make friend luh. Then i replied, oh okay. =)
So he intro himself, i intro myself, exchange email. See each other friendster. To be truth, the first time i see his friendster i very dissappointed.
HAHA, slowly.. we messaged each other, he said the first time he saw my picture in friendster fall for me le.
At that point of time, i said to myself, piece of crap!Then on this special day 030307, i was with my girl suppose to go down to simei interview end up. It's a provision shop, so i dont want! Then.. just happen that BABYBOY slacked at simei de last time.
So message and called him ask if he want to meet me anot, so he replied, he wants to meet me.
In the end, he tricked me, he said he at simei there, in the end make me run up and down. So end up, waited for him at BK.
Finally he reached, his first impression to me is.. Cute, funny. =) So, end up spend our whole day with him and girl.
In the end, he said he wants to go clubbing, very angry la. So, ask him to stay. He really did stay, to tell the truth, that day i was very touched.
Cause he stayed cause of me. =D Then headed to changi village to slacked.
From 030307 onwards, we met up almost everyday, he always fetch me after school. Bring me for lunch, slack with me, carry my bag, do everything just for the sake of me!
But at that point of time i have boyfriend, but my boyfriend was a bastard, dont wanna talk about him. BABYBOY is the one, who make me walk out of the dark without feeling afraid.
At that point of time, he really give me a sense of security, when he is around i know i wont get hurt.But its no longer the same now.
But there is this day, i dont know what happen he suddenly treat me cold, and say wanna jio other girl. =( I very angry and irritated.
So, dont want talk to him. But he still never fail to fetch me after school, i remember one day he came to my school late.
I very dissapointed that he never come, but then, he called one of my brother. He ask if i am still there anot, if i am still there he come.
So my brother said, ya she still here, faster come. around 15 mins, he reach there. He came to talk to me, said he dont wanna jio her already.
Ask me to talk to him, dont treat him so cold. Then he snatch my bag say he wanna carry for me, that how we talked. =D
& on this special day 260407, he ask me to choose between him or my boyfriend. I dont know what to say and do, He forced me to choose. End up, i choose him.
So, he accompanied me up to my house wait for me to change, then went down.
He asked me if i wanted to be his girlfriend. So, ya i agreed.
Thats when i know what's love, what's care. what's is it to feel when 2 become 1.
In case you are asking, yes. I broke up with my ex boyfriend on 260407, and got on with BABYBOY on 260407. Its a very special day for me, really.
Perhaps, he has forgotten everything. But i never forgot, and i never will.
Because, You are special the way you are! After that, we spend everyday together. He is the love of my life, really. =)
But.. because of stupid things i've done. I went into girls home, I never expect BABYBOY to wait for me.But, he really wait for me. Faithfully, never betrayed me. Cried for me, Wrote letters to me, telling me what he did, how he spend our anniversary alone.
Finally, i came out of girls home, went into a hostel. BABYBOY came over hostel to find me. =)I'll never forget the looks on his face, happy, delighted and happiness was all over his face. We hugged and hugged, never felt so loved before really.
But, i dont know since when BABYBOY changed,
He changed so much that i am so scared of losing him. He started to hong and hong, flirt and flirt. Quarrel with me for the slightest mistake i've done.
Slowly, this relationship start to fall apart, i refuse to give up. I gave in all kind of nonsense that he gave. Because i promise this someone who dotes BABYBOY alot that i takecare of him and never abandon him alone.
But now, he is no longer alone, he is happier without me, so i guess i done my job.
I also know that BABYBOY no longer loves me. So, i give up.
How foolish of me to hold up so many things by myself.
I just never expect that BABYBOY can just leave me like that when i am crying.
It really hurt me alot. Last time, whenever i cry.
BABYBOY will always be there to lend me his shoulder. Or patting me ask me not to cry cause he be there. =) But, not now anymore.

Alright, enough. Let's end it here. & before i end here are some photo which me and BABYBOY took together. Starting from the very start to the very last photo we took. =)

Ps: Can you see the smile on his face? But if i were to show you the photos that we took most of the time its always a gloomy face. It really hurts me to see things become like that. =(

? JACQ Was Here

6:58 PM

? Sunday, February 21, 2010

My Life?

Yesterday was out with darling to shop and movie, We caught the movie ' The werewolves' I rate it upon 4/10?
Cause i dont find it nice, i wanna catch the movie, valentines day. But, the timeslot dont suit us! Angry!
Went over to Topshop, found many nice nice things. So agreed with darling to buy a same top and a Bandana?
Saw the guess wallet i want, I want it so badly, saw a necklace too~ I want it so badly! =(
Time pass real fast when i am with darling. Very fast she have to go home alr!
Then headed to ping's house, for poker and mahjong.
Then head back home, babyboy was with me, he's sick. So have to rest, brought him home
Then Babyboy sleeping behind me, while i webcammed with darling.
Then after that, head to sleep around 8+ Babyboy had to go as he got lang sai~
Hehe, after that i slept back, wake up due to many noise. I hate it!
So, attitude everyone that text me and stuff, NB.
after that, slept back again. then woke up to prepare to have dinner with cousins&co.
Treat from alvin, Cousin's boyfriend. Thanks~ after that headed back home~
so now i am posting my blog to make it more alive.
& i hope you know what i need, dont treat me like a fool. =(
Off to watch autumn concerto~ Love it~

? JACQ Was Here

10:11 PM

? Friday, February 19, 2010

My Life?

Deleted my post due to some reason? LOL, so tired. Played mahjong not long just now, won many~ Hahahs, happy.
Just now had dinner with brothers & co. Super full can! Lols, went over to 85 pasar to have our ''reunion dinner'' Happy cause whenever i am with the cliques i wont get left out. They teaches me and tell me what i should do and what i should not do.
They teach me what's right and what's wrong. Told them about my foolish decision, they did not scold me. But just ask me not to regret.
I know one day i will regret, but i won't change my decision. Because, i really ain't happy about this.
I know, we should have put it down long time ago. But then.. I kept holding on to it. =(
But, its alright now, i learn to give and take. I have taken up alot alot alot of your time already.
I can't keep you to my side anymore, your wounds have healed, you can fly now.
So, just fly as far as you can. =) Be happy, okay? =D
Saw Cousin just now at pasar, suppose to cab back with him, in the end, i went off with brother & co.
So here i am, back home.
Playing dota WTF mode now~ Yes, like now, then party later at 2 am. xD
Love ya cliques. Muah~

Edited,
I think i going to be dead soon, Like really. Have been bleeding alot alot.
Oh no~ If i am really dead, please please please takecare of yourselfs to those people whom i love, who are close to me.
Oh well, i am going spend my everyday wisely now~
&& enjoy what i should not do, and stuff. =(
Take care~

? JACQ Was Here

6:53 PM

?

My Life?

I am back, I dont know if i did a right choice anot. Sorry, for my selfishness, for my everything.
I am not suppose to post anything about you anymore, so i hope you wont accidentally hopped into my blog.
Just happily enjoy your life with your friends, I dont wish you to be unhappy.
I want you to be happy, live the life you want, rather than people forcing you to do the things you dont want.
Maybe if i leave your life, you will be better. I might regret in times later, but.. what matters most is, you to be happy.
It doesnt matter if i am unhappy or what. To me, what matter most is you to be happy.
So now, i prepared to give up. All the best to you. Hope you be happy.
It doesnt matter who tell me things, but if you are happy, then okay. I am fine.
So ya, i prepared to give up.

我走了,也许我们在一起是错的,一起这么久了,你有在乎过我吗? 什么也不用说了,希望以后,你能学会怎么去爱一个人,好了,自己多保重吧.
Mr.ZSQ, please be happy. Thanks

? JACQ Was Here

1:11 AM

? Thursday, February 18, 2010

My Life?

Heyo people, how did you spend your 1st day of new year? &valentine days?
Hahas, i spend my with all my loved one! Didnt regretted at all. xD
Early in the morning woke up by my mummy, prepared and stuff headed to relative house.
Suppose to go to another cousin house for blackjack and mahjong, But i skipped it.
Cause i going over to find my BABYBOY. Happy happy!
So waited for around 5 mins? He arrived, off we went to Mall, suppose to catch a show.
End up didnt managed to catch the show, too packed lazy to Q up. D=
After that headed to arcade to play games, then to staircase as babyboy wanted to huhu.
forgot to say, Babyboy bought flower for me. xD Happy me!
Needless to say, among this 3 valentine i spend with babyboy, this year is the happiest!
Hahas! After that, Ee eng came over to find me, she too bought a flower for me. Delighted.
I am like the happiest girl in the world for that day la. -.-
Then headed over to kr, then babyboy head over to willy's relative house.
then, ee eng went home, while me went over to simei to find josh and weiliang.
Slack till like 11? Went over to kr meet up with the rest of the boys.
Then waited for Babyboy to be back again. He took his own sweet time! *Punch him*
Then headed over to 300+ slack. Oh well, i am a happy girl. xD
Love ya people! I still wanna go bai nian, whose house can go? Me wanna go!
Alright, let the picture do more talking. xD
More picture at facebook.

? JACQ Was Here

3:51 PM

Music Playlist at MixPod.com